Ever dreamt of cutting dead some annoying fecker in the pub with a razor-sharp witticism? Ever imagined bringing your boss down to size with a turn of phrase that cuts the ground from under him? And wouldn't you just love to open your door to a smugly grinning politician and wipe the smile off his face with a remark so pointed it stabs him through his empty heart?

The good news is that all those Irish masters of the spoken and written word -- Wilde, Behan, Shaw and many more -- have done it for you. They've a stinging or witty quotation for virtually every occasion and they are all contained within. All you have to do is take the words out of the master's mouths ...