This is the story of golf as it's never been told before. A dog-legged compilation of sports reports, spoof correspondence and reminiscences from pros, caddies, playing partners and armchair pundits: Mary Queen of Scots cheers herself up at the links at Leith following the murder of her husband Lord Darnley; Dwight D. Eisenhower's valet shoots the breeze as he clears up the Oval Office following a particularly gruelling Presidential putting practice session; Bob Hope's chauffeur experiments with some one-liners whilst waiting for his boss in the clubhouse car park; and John Daly's local bartender describes the unique skills of his best customer.

The albatrosses, the Big Berthas, the yips and the holes-in-one that have provided the perfect excuse to linger at the nineteenth hole are amusingly recalled for the delectation of the Fair Isle sweater brigade.