`When one is in town one amuses oneself. When one is in the country one amuses other people.' Oscar Wilde

`There are three easy ways of losing money - racing is the quickest, women the most pleasant, and farming the most certain.' Lord Amherst

`Country manners dictate that even if somebody phones you up to tell you your house is on fire, first they ask you how you are.' Alice Munro

Everyone likes the country, said Lillian Hellman. If you own a waxed jacket and a pair of wellies, are feeling sheepish, know all about fowl play and udder matters, then deer me, these quips and quotes on rural pursuits will be a breath of fresh air.

There again, as Kenny Everett pointed out, country life isn't so much tiptoeing through the tulips as slip-slopping through the cowshit. This collection of witticisms on the bittersweet delights of country life will entertain and amuse, whether you're a countryside lover or reading about it in the comfort of a metropolitan retreat.