Jake Cooper is a safety inspector. He and his colleague Roger are connoisseurs of that most maligned of art forms, the safety instructional video. Roger has even embraced the lifestyle to the extent of wearing a motorbike helmet when he drives his Volvo. Then Jake's uncle Norbert dies. Norbert has made cheapness his art form, to the extent of devising a chart to show when he should buy his round in order to maximise his lager to expenditure ratio, so to be honest he's not much missed. Strange that the local tramp disappeared around the same time though. Jake, who has already been made uneasy by his girlfriend's strange behaviour - she's being too nice - knows he really has problems when people from the past he thought he'd escaped get in touch again. All this and more is going to come together in the most unexpected way. Though possibly not in the most unexpected place...