Accountant, virgin, large-bottomed man of unusual drabness, Edmund Crowe wants nothing more than to fit in. Trouble is, nothing feels right. Least of all the Roundhouse: Mecca to Camden's undesirables. Assigned the job of balancing the Roundhouse's books - and thereby ensure its demise - Edmund is advised to keep his purpose there a secret. But then Barney appears on the scene: Barney the lothario, the fine-handed gypsy, and hitherto the undisputed king of the Roundhouse. Before long, Edmund and Barney are fighting it out for the affections of an ice-cream coquette called Lia. Sex, drugs, rock 'n roll and mutant rats swiftly follow as Edmund's life changes in previously unimaginable ways.