Is maths making you miserable? Are you terrified of times tables and scared to death by long division? Does simply adding and subtracting make you shudder? Then it's time you learned 'The Essential Arithmetricks'. Find out how to count your way out of a diabolical deathtrap, why a little multiplication can stop a horrendous hairy green spot epidemic, and meet the barmy pure mathematicians who spent years proving 5 + 0 = 5. Meanwhile, Chainsaw Charlie, Half Smile and their gruesome gang discover that even the simplest maths can be murderous.