People don't come in my size until they're old. I used to think people were born with big bones and large frames, but apparently these grow when you're about sixty-eight, Maeve Binchy; They say the definition of ambivalence is watching your mother-in-law drive over a cliff in your new Cadillac, David Mamet; It's amazing what you can do with an E in A-level art, twisted imagination and a chainsaw, Damien Hirst; I'm President of the United States, and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli!, George Bush. These are just some examples of the humorous quotations featured in The Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations. This edition contains over 5,000 quotations which cover a wide range of themes, including: autobiography, awards and prizes, parties, presidents, smoking, and tennis. From sharp one-liners to witty quips, there are quotations from classic humorists such as Mae West, Oscar Wilde, and Groucho Marx, to today's well known comedians and wits including Dick Vosburgh, Maureen Lipman, Tracey Ullman, Ben Elton, and Ian Hislop. There are also quotations from famous luminaries from walks of life other than comedy, from Samuel Johnson to Tennessee Williams, and Albert Einstein to the Duke of Wellington. There are details of where each quotation comes from, who said it, where and when.