As long as there has been crime there has been crap crime. From the Garden of Eden onwards, most criminals must have been at least a bit crap - or else they wouldn't have been caught, right? OK, some real-life rogues like Bonnie and Clyde, or fictional villains like Moriarty, make breaking the law seem pretty glamorous. But not the failed felons banged up inside this book.

Crap Crimes is a hilarious compendium of criminal stupidity - from the woman who went to the police to complain that she had been sold poor-quality cocaine, to the burglar who left his phone charging in his victim's house. If you need proof that crime does not pay - or you just want a good laugh - then this is the book for you.