Thwarted in his ambitions to play football for Arsenal, or become the new Bob Dylan, Stuart Barnes took up rugby. His path led him to desert first Wales, then Bristol and eventually England, whilst he found solace in Bath. He maintained a high profile as one of rugby's few anti-establishment characters. He was critical of the Conservative Party, Twickenham's amateur ethos and "Swing Low Sweet Chariot", and retained a loyal following of rugby supporters. This autobiography chronicles his behind the scenes in the England camp and his frequent hangovers and depressions induced by too much Joseph Conrad and Thomas Hardy.