Never again will you wonder where to position that priceless antique chair - with three weeks of dirty laundry on it you won't be able to see it!

The 3-step rubbish plan:

1. Buy bin liners that are fractionally too small for your bin.

2. Rather than empty the bin, squash down the contents so that more rubbish will fit in.

3. Keep squashing in rubbish until it is affirmed that the bag will definitely spilt when you lift it out.

Holiday unpacking formula: x(x+2) = y where is the number of days you were on holiday and y is the number of days you leave your half-unpacked suitcases and toiletry bags scattered throughout the house.