In a small town in the south west of England, a brutal turf war is raging quietly, Rivals of a large pork pie manufacturer are being dealt with one by one. Caught up in the thick of things is Gary Shrubble, award-dodging journalist of the town's only newspaper. Gary has a hunch that this is the Big One, the story that will free him forever from the mind-numbing tedium of local reporting. Enter Tim Power, would-be hot-shot advertiser, whose girlfriend has placed him on a strick twelve-month relationship test. Dragged reluctantly into the war, Tim discovers that bad advertising can be every bit as effective as good advertising, provided you don't mind upsetting borderline psychopaths along the way. After being savaged by a very small dog during a burglary, Alistaire Smythe, the town's sole surviving skinhead, is that very psychopath. Recently recruited by a man with a vested Interest in the Pork Wars, advertisers, journalists and rival meat producers are suddenly ripe for the kicking...