A far more civilised, beautiful life now lies within the grasp of your trembling fingertips! Gentle reader, do you tire of the meagre offerings set forth by our humdrum age? Do you seek to cultivate blooms of refinement and joy in your life's garden? Lord Whimsy, as befitting his office as 'Affected Provincial', humbly offers himself as a guide to those who wish to transcend the banalities of modern existence. A diverse and hilarious collection of treatises, insightful essays, philosophical diagrams, saucy poetry and other amusing trifles, The Affected Provincial's Companion will inspire you to transform yourself into a living work of art, thus setting you upon a course towards that misty, faraway shore known to the ancients as Enchantment. The perils of sportswear, self-defence for sissies, the proper grooming of facial hair, and how to become a bon vivant - all this and much more may be found between the shimmering covers of this sleek and utterly beguiling volume.