For Satyadasa the Buddhist path has been fulfilling and often joyous, but also full of doubts and obstacles. What does it mean to be a Buddhist in the West in the twenty-first century? And is being born with one hand a curse - or a blessing? I'm just pretending to be a Buddhist. I'm only on this solitary retreat because I've heard it's a good idea ... successful people don't need to meditate in damp huts ... they go on proper holidays. I am not successful, ergo, here I am.