This is one man's guide to begging for sex, smuggling drugs and pretending to be rock 'n' roll...The one time pirate bass warrior of cock rockers, "The Darkness" offers an illustrated alternative self-help book based on the philosophy of disaster: 'How To Be A Bass Player With No Sense Of Rhythm', 'How To Be A Tour Guide With No Sense Of Direction', 'How To Get Into The Closet', 'How To Go From Chateau To Shit-hole', and so on. Just take up what you are worst at, hold on tight, and enjoy the ride!In this off-beat, hilarious, hare-brained manual on fame, fortune and the universe, Frankie offers a unique slant on the bigger questions in life in an attempt to help readers (and himself) arrive at a greater understanding of the world through the excesses of sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. Thanks to a revolutionary process called the 'Mind Sweeper', devised by his Polish cleaner, he is able to make sense of his life before, during and after 'that band' he played in...