A mondegreen is a word or phrase which, when spoken or sung, is misheard as another word or phrase, often resulting in a hilarious outcome. Most people have heard of the famous mondegreen, 'send three-and-fourpence, we're going to a dance', the surprise request of a troop of soldiers who actually said, 'send reinforcements, we're going to advance'. The most common causes of confusion are song lyrics, as puzzled listeners struggle to work out why The Beatles were singing The girl with colitis goes by ('The girl with kaleidoscope eyes'), but mondegreens are not only found in songs and poetry, but also in everyday life. For example, the lady who rang the hospital asking for Sir Michael Spears, when, in fact, she was actually enquiring about cervical smears. Mondegreens is a side-splittingly funny collection of wonderful and absurd mishearings, put together in an elegant package that is certain to appeal to English language aficionados everywhere.