They're opening a new restaurant in Soho tonight. Susan Ball's the owner. She's funding the joint with the money she ripped off from her husband, Frank 'Ballistic' Ball - the gangster, natch. Hoagie's the cook. He's from Manchester and his long blond locks have made him a natural TV chef. Trouble is he's also a screaming pervert. Cheb's the Ma?tre D. He's just back from Goa and he might not say his brains were completely drug-fried, but everyone else would. Oh, and I wouldn't trust him with your credit card if I were you. What's on the menu? Jello Salad. And what's that? A delirious mix of Tarantino violence and Almodov?r camp, whipped together by the coolest new name in British crime writing - Nicholas Blincoe.