This is a spoof journalistic response to "the emotional rebirth of New Britain, as chronicled by the woman who acted as its midwife". Sometimes poignant, never less than tragic, often brave and always searingly honest: these are the qualities that have made Bel Littlejohn of "The Observer" Britain's best-loved columnist. Part self-help guide, part heart-felt and brutally frank reappraisal of her life to date, Ms Littlejohn deals with such topics as Diana, Princess of Wales ("She taught us how to laugh and how to cry, and the difference between the two"), coping with a living mother at Christmas-time, Gordon Brown's Desert Island Disc ("Je T'Aime Moi Non Plus"), Louise Woodward ("I wept, you wept, he or she wept, we wept, you plural wept, they all wept") and living with a verucca.