One day, I, CORDELIA CODD, am going to be the greatest costume designer in the history of cinema. I will live in exotic places, have fabulous friends and spend my days relaxing at the spa.

But for now I'm stuck in the d...u...l...l...e...s...t village on planet Earth, with a best friend a QUILLION-TRILLION miles away, not-quite-together parents, a pretend boyfriend/supposed thief/real bully shield, and an epic war with THE MOST UNFRIENDLY GIRL IN THE UNIVERSE.

Whoever said "tomorrow is another day" hasn't lived a day in my life...