CONTENTS
Preface
PROLOGUE
The Impact of Social Movements on Gender Communication:
You Must Know Where You've Been to Know Where You're Going
Learning Herstory
Men, Education, and Women-in That Order
The First Wave of Feminism
Enter Rosie the Riveter
The Civil Rights Movement
The Sexual Revolution
The Second Wave of Feminism
No Such Thing as THE Feminists
The Third Wave of Feminism
What About His Story?
Early Male Supporters of Women's Rights
Effects of the Sexual Revolution on Men
Men Raised Consciousness Too
Fathers' Movements
There Are Some Wild Men Out There
The Million Man March
Keeping Those Promises
Gender Communication: Looking Forward
References
PART I: COMMUNICATION, GENDER, AND EFFECTIVENESS
CHAPTER 1
Talking the Talk and Walking the Walk: Becoming a Better
Gender Communicator
Hot Topics
What Is Gender Communication?
Why Study Gender Communication?
Gender Jargon
Is It Sex or Is It Gender?
Gender Identity, Androgyny, and Sexual Orientation
Feminism (The F-Word) and Se ism
Communication: A Complex Human Process
Becoming Receiver Oriented in Your Communication
The Personal Effectiveness Approach to Gender Communication
Personal Effectiveness: Your Own Perception
Personal Effectiveness: Others' Perceptions
Values to Guide Your Choices
Value 1: Equalizing Power
Value 2: Talking to Make It Better
Value 3: Believing in Freedom of Choice
Value 4: Being Open-Minded and Willing to Change
Value 5: Treating Another Person as an Individual
Conclusion
Discussion Starters
References
PART II: INFLUENCES ON OUR CHOICES
CHAPTER 2
Becoming a Woman, Becoming a Man, and Becoming a Person:
Biological, Social, and Cultural Influences on Gender Identity
Development
Hot Topics
Case Study: Am I Masculine? Am I Feminine? What's That
Mean, Anyway?
How You Develop Your Identity
Fundamentals of Identity
Identity Development and Communication
Masculine and Feminine Identity Revisited
The Effects of Social Interpretations of Biological Sex on Identity
Innies and Outies: Anatomical Differences and Social
Interpretations
Social Interpretations of Raging Hormones
Mind over Matter: Are Men's and Women's Brains Really
Different?
The Effects of Social Influences on Psychological Gender Identity
Learning to Be Girls and Boys
Socialization and Gender Identity Development
The Family as a Primary Socializing Agent
Secondary Agents of Socialization
Gender and Culture
Culture Considered
Is One Culture Better Than Another?
When Aspects of Identity Intersect
Intercultural Gender Communication
Conclusion
Discussion Starters
References
CHAPTER 3
Pictures, Porn, and Pop: Gender and Media
Hot Topics
Case Study: A Day in Two Lives: Rey and His Dad
The Power of Mediated Communication: Effects on Our Lives
A Bombardment of Media
Approaches to Studying the Effects of Media Consumption
Advertising: Selling a Product or Selling Se ism?
Babes in Bras: Female Depiction in Advertising
Studs in Suits: Male Depiction in Advertising
Lessons from the Small Screen: Television and Gender
Television: Mirroring Reality or Creating It?
Men in Prime-time Television
Women in Prime-time Television
TV and GLBT
Lessons from the Big Screen: Film and Gender
Gender in the Movies
The Communicative Power of Pornography
Multiple Definitions of Pornography: The Beginnings of
Controversy
Types of Readily Accessible Pornography
Multiple Camps for a Complex Issue
The Cru of the Matter: Pornography is Personal
We Could Make Beautiful Music Together...
From Pop to Rock to Rap to Hip-Hop to Country: The Women
and Men of Song Lyrics
Sex Kittens and He-Men in Music Videos
Sex, Gender, and New Media
Online Identity and Gender
Gendered Gaming
Conclusion
Discussion Starters
References
PART III: LET'S TALK: INITIATING AND DEVELOPING
RELATIONSHIPS
CHAPTER 4
Choosing and Using Gendered Language
Hot Topics
Case Study: Go Team!
Choosing Your Language
Language: A Powerful Human Tool
What Is Language? What Is Sexist Language?
Why Use Nonsexist Language?
Reason 1: Nonsexist Language Demonstrates Sensitivity
Reason 2: Nonsexist Language Reflects Nonsexist Attitudes
Reason 3: Nonsexist Language Is Basic to the Receiver
Orientation to Communication
Reason 4: Nonsexist Language Is Contemporary
Reason 5: Nonsexist Language Strengthens Expression
Sexist Language: Forms, Practices, and Alternatives
Forms of Sexist Language
Sexist Linguistic Practices
Using Language: Once You Choose It, How Do You Use It?
An Axiom of Communication
Women, Men, and the Relational versus Content Approach to
Communication
What's Preferable-Relational or Content Communication?
Language Usage Between Women and Men
Vocal Properties and Linguistic Constructions
Conclusion
Discussion Starters
References
CHAPTER 5
Gender and Relationships: Developing Potential into Reality
Hot Topics
Case Study: Choosing and Being Chosen
Better Information = Better Choices
Relationship Roadblocks
Roadblock 1: High Expectations
Roadblock 2: This Should Be Easy
Roadblock 3: Fear of Failure
Roadblock 4: If I Just Relax, a Good Relationship Will Find Me
Roadblock 5: Weighed Down by Baggage
Roadblock 6: It's Got to Happen Now!
Roadblock 7: Giving Up Too Much Just to Have a Dating
Relationship
Roadblock 8: Looking Over Someone's Shoulder
Stage 1: Is There a Relationship Gold Mine Out There? Prospecting
and Being a Prospect
Seeing and Being Seen
Not Being Seen: Prospecting Online
Being Attracted to a Prospect
Strategies for Gaining Information
Stage 2: Engaging the Prospect-Conversations
Digging In and Discovering More
The Art and Skill of Flirting
Stage 3: Developing the Claim and Establishing the Relationship
Opening a New Vein: Intimacy and Self-Disclosure
The Big E: Empathy
Are You Listening?
Those All-Important Nonverbal Communication Skills
Conclusion
Discussion Starters
References
PART IV: THE CONTE TS FOR OUR RELATIONSHIPS:
PERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS IN ACTION
CHAPTER 6
Gender Communication Just Among Friends
Hot Topics
Case Study: When Friend Became a Verb
A Single Soul in Two Bodies
Learning to Be Friends
Communication in Same-Sex Friendships: From Butch and Sundance
to Thelma and Louise
Male-Male Friendship: Functions and Characteristics
Female-Female Friendship: Functions and Characteristics
Cross-Sex Friendship: Is It Possible to Be Just Friends?
What Gets in the Way of Cross-Sex Friendships?
What Enhances Cross-Sex Friendships?
The Future for Cross-Sex Friendship
Conclusion
Discussion Starters
References
CHAPTER 7
Beyond Friendship: Gender Communication in Romantic Relationships
Hot Topics
Case Study: Persistent Traditions in the Realm of Romance
Ah, Love and Romance (and Gender)
The Language of Romance
The Pressure to Partner
Stereotypical Notions of Romance
Tensions within Romantic Relationships
Talking about Communication, or Communicating about Talking
Conflict: The Inevitable in a Relationship
Ending a Relationship
Gender Issues Surrounding Sexual Activity
Sexual Activity: Attitudes and Options
Women, Men, Communication, and Se
Conclusion
Discussion Starters
References
CHAPTER 8
Power Abuses in Human Relationships
Not-So-Hot Topics
A Non-Case Study
At the Center of Abusive Situations: Communicating Power
Personal Rights and Sexuality
Power at the Core
Changing Language as We Learn More
An Evening Out with Annie and Kris
Underestimates of an Underreported Problem
Who Are the Rapists?
Communication and the Abuse of Power in Sexual Assault
Parting Considerations about Sexual Assault and Rape
Partner Violence
Living Happily Ever After
The Language of Violence
An Epidemic
Common Myths about Battering
Abused Partners: How Do They Stand It? Why Do They Stay?
Parting Considerations about Partner Violence
Conclusion
Discussion Starters
References
CHAPTER 9
Women and Men in the Workplace: The Challenges of Talking Shop
Hot Topics
Case Study: How Does 50/50 Sound?
Women and Men Working Together: Walking on Eggshells?
Getting That All-Important Job
Vestiges of Affirmative Action
Gender Issues and the Job Interview
On the Job and Moving Up
Advancement within an Organization
Women and Men in Leadership Positions
Attention? Complimenting? Flirting? Sexual Harassment?
The Basics of Sexual Harassment
Initial Reactions to Sexual Harassment
After the Deed's Been Done: Responding to Harassment
The Downside of Secrecy
Going a Step Further: Reporting Sexual Harassment
A Proactive Approach to the Problem of Workplace Sexual
Conclusion
Discussion Starters
References
CHAPTER 10
A Class Act: Gender Communication in Educational Settings
Hot Topics
Case Study: Two College Experiences
Children's Literature and Early Lessons about Gender
Fairy Tales, Nursery Rhymes, and Gender
Gender Depiction in Textbooks and Children's Literature
Educational Expectations and Gender Bias in the Classroom
Expectations about Academic Achievement: The Early Years
Expectations about Academic Achievement: The College Years
Gender Communication and the College Classroom
The Chill in Higher Education: Classroom Communication
Sexual Harassment in the Hallowed Halls
Peer Sexual Harassment: Classmates Will Be Classmates?
Paying It Upward: When Students Harass Faculty
Conclusion
Discussion Starters
References
Author Index
Subject Index
