CONTENTS
Foreword by Ann Rhoades, Founding Executive
of JetBlue Airways . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . XIII
Acknowledgments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . XV
Introduction: Ding, Dong! The Bitch Is Dead . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1
You Crafty Career Planner, You: How to Use This Book . . . . 6
PART ONE: CUT THE CRAP
Section 1: Self-Awareness
1 Getting Rid of the "Hob" on Your Brain . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11
The Three Biggest Career-Killing Hobs
and How to Handle Them . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
Woman 2 Woman: Knowing Your Worth . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
2 If Busy Were the Indicator of Success,
We'd All Be Billionaires . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
3 Reining in the Mommy Guilt . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
Sanity 101: Five Must-Have Tradeoffs
for Working Moms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
Woman 2 Woman: On Parenting vs. and Career. . . . . . . . . . 29
4 Om the Job: How to Beat Stress and Anxiety. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33
Keeping in Mind @ Work . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36
Action Plan: Self-Awareness Goals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
Section 2: Social Skills
5 Indirect, Emotions, and Tears (Oh, My!) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44
Why Surveyed Women Preferred Male Bosses . . . . . . . . . . . 46
Attention Crybabies! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53
6 Competition (Yeah, Let's Talk About It) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55
Why Do Comparisons Trip Us Up So Much?. . . . . . . . . . . . 56
The Real C-Word . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59
7 Seriously, Don't Bring Sexy Back . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61
Woman 2 Woman: On Harassment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66
How to Handle: Tricky Social Situations @ Work . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68
Action Plan: Social Skills Goals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76
PART TWO: CALL IN THE GOOD STUFF
Section 3: Personal Effectiveness
8 Be More to Do More: Creating Your Virtues,
Intentions, and Goals (VIG) List. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81
Virtues: Your Evergreen Self . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83
Intentions: Your Present Self. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 87
Goals: Your Future Self . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89
So . . .Now It's Your Turn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89
9 Building VIG-ilicious Habits. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93
VIG-ilicious Scorecard A . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96
VIG-ilicious Scorecard B. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96
10 Six Ways to Earn Respect Under the Corporate
Umbrella . . . and Seven Ways to Screw It Up Royally . . . . . . 99
Small Business versus Large Organizations:
Two Different Cultures, Two Different Games . . . . . . . 100
Woman 2 Woman: Owning Your Career. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108
11 A Note to New Grads . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 110
Must-Have Skill #1: Communication. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112
Must-Have Skill #2: Critical Thinking
and Problem Solving . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113
Woman 2 Woman: Get the Job Before
You Get the Job . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114
How to Handle: Tricky Service Situations @ Work. . . . . . . . . . . . 116
Action Plan: Personal Effectiveness Goals. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129
Section 4: Team Development
12 Women Were Raised to Be Nice. So What? . . . . . . . . . . . . . 134
13 The Cure for Fake Harmony: 100 Coaching
Questions for Team Leaders . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 138
14 Solve the Freakin Problem! (Plus: Two Really
Simple Anger Management Techniques) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 149
When The Sh*t Hits the Fan-H.E.A.L. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151
Woman 2 Woman: Managing Through
Turbulent Times . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 158
How to Handle: Tricky Team Situations @ Work. . . . . . . . . . . . . 161
Action Plan: Team Development Goals. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 168
PART THREE: ALIGN WITH WHAT WORKS
Section 5: Leadership
15 Having Authority Is Like Having a Gun in Your Closet:
There If You Need It, but Hopefully You Won't Have
to Pull the Trigger . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 173
Leading from Where You Are . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 175
Meeting Other People Where They Are . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 177
No Like-y? No Problem. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 179
Influence Right Now. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 180
Woman 2 Woman: Finding Your Voice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 182
16 That's Great and All, but Nobody Knows Who You Are. . . . 184
What's Your Worth?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 186
The Difference Between Mentors and Sponsors . . . . . . . . 188
Woman 2 Woman: On Networking. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 189
How to Handle: Tricky Leadership Situations @ Work . . . . . . . . 192
Action Plan: Leadership Goals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 197
Section 6: Toolbox
Tool 1: Career Plan Template. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 200
Tool 2: Six-Month Check-In Template . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 203
Tool 3: Personal Career Assessment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 205
Tool 4: Leadership Readiness Assessment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 208
Tool 5: 20 Things Every Career Woman Must Know . . . . . . . . . 211
Epilogue: The Glass Ceiling Is
Only There If You Think It Is . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 213
Index . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 217