Call yourself a man? You do? Do you even know what a real man is? Are you a six foot one Adonis who wears all the latest fashions, moisturises regularly, visits spas for pleasure and never does anything wrong? Or do you drink twenty pints every Friday night, guzzle a kebab on the way home and then fart yourself to sleep?

It's time to stop being the man everyone expects you to be and be the one you want to be. And while you're at it, why not discover the practical skills a real man should have: from hot-wiring a car to hiding a dead body, how to disappear without trace in less than 24 hours, to unarmed combat. Add in tips on love, sex, money and fatherhood and you have a book tells you everything you need to know about being a man. Fast-paced and funny this is the ultimate bible for the modern man.