"After I won, I asked my wife what she wanted. She said a divorce. I said I wasn't thinking of anything that expensive." -- Nick Faldo, after winning $1 million in a tournament "Do you mind if I play while you talk?" -- Seve Ballesteros, said laughingly while playing in front of a loud gallery "Golf is not a funeral, though both can be very sad affairs." -- Bernard Darwin "We had a small wager, but the outcome did not affect the Forbes rating." -- Warren Buffett, on playing golf with Bill Gates "At first, I said, 'Let's play for taxes.'" -- Michael Jordan, on playing golf with President Clinton "To lose a game is not a national calamity. This will act as a tonic all --around." -- Walter Hagen, after the United States lost the Ryder Cup