Berets, baguettes and strings of onions are all very well, but to really fit in across the Channel takes a certain...je ne sais quoi. The French might make it look easy, but being French requires a fine balance of aloof confidence, an innate sense of superiority, joie de vivre and doing everything with style. Then, of course, there are the basics to get to grips with, such as the fact that the customer is always wrong, why it's OK to let your dog do its business in the street, why queuing is not necessary and why French cuisine is undeniably the best in the entire world.

This witty book takes a humorous look at the charms and foibles of the Gallic nation, teaching you everything you need to know about being correctly French, including such essentials as: how to perfect the Gallic shrug; the real French rules of the road; and, how and when to stage a strike/demonstration.