The Little Book of Abuse by Jasmine Birtles
You've got clowns to the left of you, jokers to the right and you're stuck in the middle unable to shut them up. Well now you can with all the put-doen lines and smart comebacks in this book. If you're all stressed out and you've no one to choke, pick a line and use it next time you feel like you're just flypaper for freaks.
You'll find put-downs for men: 'I'm not your type. I have a pulse'; put-downs for women: 'Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?', and put-downs for any fool using up your air on this planet: ' I don't know what your problem is, but I'II bet it's hard to pronounce'.
Warning: Next mood swing: 6 minutes.