Customer: "Soccer will never take off in America; it's just not going to happen!"
Barber: "I heard a quote in a movie "Americans will never embrace soccer!""
Customer: "Who said that?"
Barber: "Homer Simpson in the Simpsons Movie!"

Female Barber: (approaching a customer in the waiting area) "you know the way you always give me a fiver tip?"
Customer: (A little surprised) "Yea?"
Female Barber: "Well would there be any chance I could get an advance, it's just one of the girls is going out for our sandwiches and I have no money!"

Customer: "I'm a transparent wall maintenance engineer."
Barber: "What is that?"
Customer: "I clean the windows at the airport"