This is not your father's wedding...Congratulations on your engagement, my clueless friend, and welcome to a world for which you are sadly ill equipped. You have entered a new dimension. A dimension of china patterns, ice swans, and boutonnieres. You're planning a wedding, and your fiancee expects more from you than a diamond ring and a blood test. So, you'd better get up to speed - and fast. From the best proposal to the coolest honeymoon, The Clueless Groom's Guide offers light-hearted commiseration, guidance, and a distinctly male take on the entire process of planning a traditional wedding.It gives you a sorely needed chuckle and some surprisingly useful advice to help you get through the many decisions your bride-to-be will pretend to want your opinion on, including: how and where to pop the question - and when to cue the mariachi band; why engagements of over two years are justified only by extended commitments to the armed forces and/or unusually long jail sentences; how to pick groomsmen gifts and groomsmen who almost deserve them; reception sites that offer style and originality...and why you should avoid them like the plague; and far more than you should ever rightly know about weddings.