Ever wondered what happened to one-of-a-kind comedian Phil Cool?

Well now you can find out, as told by the man himself...

Young Mick, next door, played drums and bagpipes. Separately, of course, but it still annoyed our neighbours. Hed say stuff like: Im quitting my band. Theyre a bunch of big-heads; not one of them is as talented as I am.

Then one day, in the early 1970s, he said something sensible. Phil, if you dont start doing proper gigs now, youll be too old and it wont happen. So I made a decision to get serious, leave my job and make the transition from wage to stage. By 1985, after playing every dive in the UK, Id honed a few hours of decent stand-up and landed a series on BBC2. Game-changer. After that I landed another, which won a Royal Television Award for originality.

A third series, a special and two ITV series followed. In the late 1980s and early 1990s the phone didnt stop ringing; my memorable face was everywhere. I had realised a dream. Then, as far as most viewers knew, I all but vanished. Its true big theatres progressively grew smaller, but in fact I carried on walking the boards until my retirement, aged 65.

I am now 76. So heres the book. I think youll like it. For a fair price, you get the head ... the tale ... the whole damn thing.