The Languid Goat is Always Thin: The World's Strangest Proverbs by Stephen Arnott
Wow your family and colleagues, make people respect you...with a mystifying proverb to fit every (in fact every) occasion. Guaranteed to silence any room, each is a summation of centuries of knowledge. Read literally they are hilarious. Many are ultimately wise. With others - no matter how you persever - you're unlikely to fathom their meaning. Warped gems from the profound to the bleeding-obvious-in-fancy-dress and the worryingly macarbe to the certifaibly insane.