Contents
Introduction 7
Ways to use this book 9
Part 1 The start of it all 13
1 Wallowing in it? 14
2 All abuse hurts 18
3 Problems with trauma 25
Strategies for dealing with panic and anxiety 31
4 Problems with memory 34
Strategies for dealing with flashbacks and similar startling triggers 38
5 Abuse and depression 43
Strategies for getting better from depression 49
Strategies for getting rid of negative thinking 50
6 The emergency stage 52
Strategies for surviving the emergency stage 59
Part 2 Deciding to heal 63
7 Images, dreams and reality 64
Practical strategies for learning from dreams 70
8 Transforming moments 73
9 Making friends with our Inner Child 77
Part 3 Understanding the chains 87
10 What's keeping me chained up? 88
Strategies for dealing with shame and low self-esteem 94
11 Fears and phobias 96
Strategies for dealing with anxiety, fears and phobias 100
12 Hurting ourselves 102
Strategies for dealing with eating disorders 109
Strategies for dealing with self-harming 110
Strategies for dealing with suicidal thinking 111
13 False memories? 114
Part 4 Working through the pain 123
14 Our feelings matter 124
15 Where is God when it hurts? 127
16 The shadow and the shame 133
17 Who am I? 139
Strategies for getting rid of self-loathing 144
18 Why do I switch off? 147
Strategies for dealing with switching off 151
Part 5 Starting to heal 155
19 Healing with puffins 156
20 Beginning to feel angry 162
21 Understanding anger 168
Strategies for dealing with our anger and pent-up rage 174
22 Healthy boundaries 177
Strategies for dealing with our 'core issues' 183
23 Forgive and forget? 186
Strategies for exploring forgiveness 194
24 Struggling with forgiving 199
Strategies for forgiving ourselves 206
25 Reflections 208
Further resources 220