According to his contract, the old man has five months to sit on his bench and reminisce about his childhood, but all that comes out are curious stories--about leprous dominos, amorous concrete towers, chaste call girls, and more. In other words: the old man twaddles on and on. A virtuoso novel that reveals what language can do when it serves no purpose but its own proliferation, Swiss provocateur Urs Alleman's The Old Man and the Bench is a comedy of mangled verbosity.